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Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
If anyone tells you that you drink to much on the weekends. Stop talking to them...you don`t need that kind of negativity in your life
Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
Sign: "No alcohol past this point." Translation: Bet you can`t chug this entire beer, right now.
I like to walk through the mall and hand out bags of Cheetos to all the kids I see wearing white clothes
Damn…I’m having an out of money experience.
There 492 billionaires in the United States, and not one of those goddamned losers has decided to become Batman.
I should eat more healthy, but we all saw how that whole apple thing went for Adam & Eve.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women hahaha
The Internet: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.
one day a man seen a fairy, and asked.... could you make me irresistible to all women.... so she turned him into a credit card. :`D
So, you`re telling me that the Grammys aren`t cute little bags of cocaine?
I bet heroin addicts can open a Capri sun on the first try.
I may not have any friends but at least I know my cat will never ask me to help him move
My p@nis was in the Guiness Book of Records. Untill the librarian kicked me out