Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just once I would like to read a warning label that says "May cause permanent weight loss, remove wrinkles, and increase energy."
I don`t have friends, I have acquaintances and parasites.
Before having any kids make sure you’re done sleeping and doing things you like to do.
Not to brag but my new mistress is a lingerie model. OK, fine. A mannequin. But she doesn`t talk much and I like that.
No pornhub I do not want to share this video with my friends & family on Facebook
Please come see my theatrical dramatization of the history of puns ... It`s a play on words.
I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss.
I hate when men`s restrooms have no urinals and a bunch of women in them.
You couldn`t handle me even if I came with instructions.
The zoo basically has two modes. 1. Lazy sleepy animals. 2. Hard core porn
I bet people who like their own statuses wink at themselves in the mirror too.
my stomach just growled and it sounded like it said... `Droid`....
I hate sneezing during sex, as it alerts the neighbours and lets them know I`m watching.
Given enough coffee, I believe I could rule the world.
USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails.