Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I`d been invited to an autopsy.
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
If one of Santa`s helpers takes a picture of himself with his smartphone, is that an "elfie"?
I just ate what I thought was a feta cheese crumble from my salad off my shirt. Turns out it was deodorant. So how`s your day going?
I hope someone drives slightly slower in front of you on a crowded highway and you can’t pass.
Just saw Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter... So that`s how it happened! I knew what I learned in history class was a bunch of crap!
is in his own little world but it´s okay they know me here.
I wish I could google "things to eat in my fridge" so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed. ;)
All I`m saying is if I`m not allowed to give a monkey a gun at the zoo they should have a sign.
If you get angry, just relax, take a deep breath and count to ten, unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.
Being able to read minds would be incredible...but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old.
The only thing Facebook has ever done for me is make me realize a lot of my friends are idiots.
Some of you need to be driven out to the country and released back into the wild
Some people are too chipper early in the morning. They don`t realize how bad it is for their health.....until I`m choking them
Shouldn`t old people drive faster than everyone else since they have less time left to waste?