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If you bend over and place your ear next to a girls vagina , you can clearly hear her say "WTF are you Doing!"
Does ke$ha go by k€sha in Europe?
Not sure how coffee got its own table in the living room, but kudos.
There is something so unique about me, that even I can`t figure it out...
My hand is stuck in a Pringles can. I`ll just leave it there. I`m not hiding who I am anymore.
It doesn`t matter if the shoe fits or not, I`m still shoving it up your a$$.
That awkward moment when you imagine your own funeral...
There should be an observation deck at Walmart.
Don`t forget to get your hurricane glasses before looking at it.
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those meds.
Every so often you come across a person that supplies you with endless motivation, even if it is just to jump into traffic.
I just missed winning the lottery by only 6 numbers.
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food
"It`s not you, it`s me." -Twins looking at some family photos.
I wish real life had as many ejection seats as cartoons.