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If someday we all go to prison for downloading Movies and TV shows, I just hope they split us up by genre.
My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like I KNOW, RIGHT?
some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
Rubix cubes are EASY....when you`re color blind.
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as "that weird thing I did for a while."
The only time I hit the panic button on my car keys is accidentally, and the only person who panics is me.
If it defies all logic, and makes very little sense then it was probably my idea...
You don’t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
I have a dream that one day I won`t have to work on MLK Day.
When my kid grows up they`re not aloud to date until they`re married.
Jokes on you hot chick at the bar who gave me a radio station`s phone number I just won Harlem Globetrotter tickets and a Bud Light poncho.
So your baby doesn`t know any tricks at all?
Keep up the good work, people who make free porn available.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on?