Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Its weird that goldfish will eat other goldfish but wont eat goldfish crackers. Life sure is complicated sometimes.
Does ke$ha go by k€sha in Europe?
I went to the store and saw that Duracell batteries were on sale just before Valentine`s Day. Someone is a marketing genius.
I`m a wealth of knowledge ... Unless you want it to be true, then I`m pretty solid on about 6 topics ... 2 of those might just be Doritos flavors
I don`t need to go to church in order to feel ashamed of myself on Sunday morning.
Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep, 9 if you`re ugly.
Do you ever order a club sandwich just to feel like you`re a part of something?
Be wary of someone who calls all their exes crazy. They`re probably the reason.
After four centuries, the semicolon has finally achieved it`s true calling: helping people wink online.
Million dollar idea: A bathroom mirror that takes pictures.
I’m old enough to know what’s bad for me and young enough to do it.
Curious that it`s always a female computer voice that calmly announces self-destruct sequences and other violent disasters.
Inspirational status of the day: Don’t be a douche.
Why aren’t mustaches called mouth brows?
Scared the mailman today by going to the door completely naked. Not sure what scared him more, my naked body or that I knew where he lived.