Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Helpful Tip: Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
likes to end all my phone calls with "Ok, I`ll see you later on at the party!" and then quickly hang up. Let them figure it out.
Sometimes you can just tell it`s going to be a "Does not play well with others" kind of day.
is accepting applications. Needed someone to keep me from doing dumb stuff. See previous post.
"Rise and shine” is probably the most depressing thing a shoeshiner hears in the morning.
The kids left w/my parents for a week. I plan to run around the house for an hour yelling "woo hoo", but after that my schedule is wide open
I`ll never fly Virgin Airlines. Why would anyone want to fly an airline that doesn`t go all the way.
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
I`d fight a bear for you. Well, not a grizzly or a brown bear. But maybe like a care bear. I`d fight one of those sonsabitches for you.
You never know how dirty a song’s lyrics are…until you hear a child sing them.
I saved over $1000.00 on Black Friday. I stayed home and didn`t shop.
This is odd?!?! The hour we lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym.
This healthy diet thing is dangerous. I just cut myself peeling an apple. This would have never happened to me with a twinkie.
Now if you’ll excuse me, tonight’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.
I can’t decide if the drinks are too weak or if my tolerance is too strong.