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My door is always open. So please feel free to leave.
Procrastination comes to those who wait.
Why doesn’t a deli slicer just have a scale on it?
Once again I`ve woken up without super powers. Sigh
Christmas tip: Wrap empty boxes and put them under the tree. Everytime your child acts up, throw one in the fireplace.
Much of my life is a contest to see which of the voices in my head can say the funniest stuff.
I overheard this guy bragging about his fancy hotel sweet. Ptttsht. They are nothing but cheap a$$ mints!
The wifi going down on me is the most action I`m going to get tonight.
Life`s too short for Salad..............
I`ve decided to take some time off Facebook so I can focus on work and, ok, I`m back
I have my hesitations about Paradise City if the first thing you brag about is the color of the grass
No matter how many lives you have in Candy Crush, you’ll still never get your own back.
My 5yr old learned how to whistle if anyone’s looking for a new 5yr old.
You don`t know pissed off until she tells you to go sleep on the couch, and you take all the covers with you.
So you have 820 friends on Facebook and yet no one was around to take your picture when you decided to use the mirror for a good shot?