Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Boobs are a lot like train sets, they were meant for kids, but dad always ends up wanting to play with them.
I love you with all my thighs. I would say my heart, but my thighs are much bigger.
It`s so cold outside I had to put Jack in my Coke to keep it from freezing.
I let a girl go through my phone recently so a colonoscopy really doesn’t scare me anymore.
is deep in thought . . . if only i could remember what i was thinking about
they say there`s love in every corner....gosh I think I`m moving in circles
Changing a whole text message just because you didn`t know how to spell one word?
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don`t call it Liam then what is even the point of you
To the untrained eye, I`m quite handsome.
Tip to get out of jury duty: Begin every answer with "According to the prophecy."
Long time ago I used to be young and handsome.. Today? Just handsome
I`m not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to sh!t indoors.
I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
I’d slap you but I’m pretty sure they would call it animal cruelty.
Dating Tip: Find a partner with a compatible phone charger.