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On a scale from 0 to insane, I`m Batman!
People like you are the reason why the middle finger was invented
Billy Ray Cyrus made a million dollars at a playgirl photo shoot. He just started taking his clothes off and they paid him to put them back on.
It`s friday!! I smell vodka ;)
You say tomato, I say summertime snowball.
Does everyone have that one dumb ass that finds you on Facebook and will not give up? Repeated friend requests, inbox messages, and follows my pages. It is driving me nuts. I understand at some point I will have to give in, but just because I am married to her doesn`t mean I have to like her, right?
Pizza gal reads my order back to me and says,"You have one large thick sausage, anything else?" With a smirk I reply,"Yes, I`d also like to order a pizza."
Just remember, every day is a gift from God. Well except for Monday.. Satan slips that one in. He’s a sneaky bastard.
Stop complaining about being single!!, we have bigger problems here. Like why McDonalds don`t serve breakfast after 10:30 -.-
If I pretend to be dead will you stop talking?
It`s really difficult to find what you want on eBay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches...
I`ve finally decided to do something about my weight. Lie.
The inside of my fridge: evidence that I’m still not a real adult.
For the past 3 years I have been planning to write an article on Procrastination!!!
If my grandmother were alive today, I`m pretty sure she`d still have her blinker on.