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"I don`t know what the f*ck this tastes like." - first person to eat chicken.
I used to be a camera man in the porn industry but it became too hard...
Why do the people with the most annoying voices always appear to have the worst case of verbal diarrheal??!!
I have off-road rage, too
Dear life, I`ve had enough bullsh!t to last a while. Can we take a little break please.
Sorry I liked your status, I was cleaning my phone.
The only thing I hate worse than holding a girl`s purse is when it doesn`t match what I`m wearing.
Just so you know, I am already planning on being an a$$hole tomorrow.
I started to keep a notepad beside the bed so that I can write down post at night, so far I have: Really shitty handwriting in the dark.
thinks it would be great if we really burped bubbles when we were drunk .. just like in cartoons.
Of all the people who "claim" not to give a sh!t, I`m pretty sure the guy standing barefoot in front of the urinal at the gym is the winner.
Just called the fire department to tell them that dogs pee on fire hydrants so they should probably all wash their hands.
I cringe when teens brag about taking girls to pound town because adopting a puppy together is a huge responsibility.
Just bought a car with the money from my swear jar.
I bet guys that work at strip clubs are "hard" workers...