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Hey, if anyone needs help raising their kids, come talk to me. I`ve been one for 30 some years now.
I heard someone say their podcast was on "hiatus", guess that sounds better than "my mom took away my laptop".
I have found that the best work from home occupation is a bartender
Happy third birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge.
The Never Ending Story should`ve been a movie about a phone call from my Mother
I`m gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "the Illuminaughty".
I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scan it…
I can cope with voices in my head but the voices outside my head drive me crazy.
Of course bears sh!t in the woods, they do most of their stuff in the woods, very few bears own a house.
Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take, I`ll be watching you. - Dog
Today is National animals day, please take a moment to remember your ex :p:p:p.
Black, white, gay, straight, Christian, Jewish... It doesn`t matter. It`s all good. But a Pepsi drinker...
I don`t know exactly who`s health I`m drinking to, but they`re going to be immortal at this rate
I`ve spent three hours investigating this chicken and I still can`t find his nuggets.
My reaction to stepping in dog sh!t is identical to me logging onto Facebook