Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If your dog weighs less than 10lbs, it`s technically a cat
I wish we had staff meetings in the garden. The plants would`ve love the fertilizer.
With all the technology these days, you`d think they would come up with an Online Gym where losing weight would be a click away
Christmas is all about getting your entire dysfunctional family under one roof, hoping the cops don`t get called and nobody gets arrested.
This is bullshit. It`s like the cops don`t even know that the speed limit is different when you`re listening to AC/DC.
People are always gonna talk about you, so you might as well give them something good to say.
three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere "Hold my purse."
I saw a spider in my bathtub. So I took a tissue and very, very carefully, burned the house down.
Me: There has to be a way I can lose weight! Friend: Eat healthy? Exercise? Me: No, that`s not it. Keep thinking! We`ll figure this out.
Is anyone else`s alcohol tolerance too high for their paycheck?
It`s been rough today, right now I`m busy trying to lasso the tv remote with my phone charger cord.
I wish I could understand what women with big boobs are saying.
Office Tip: In a pinch a booger and a small piece of copy paper is as good as a post it note.
When your world is falling apart, when it seems like things can`t get any worse, please remember...I don`t give a s$it.
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to just ignore you.