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Super Bowl Sunday, the one day of the year that DVR`s are used to watch commercials, instead of skip them!
Why is there a show called “When animals attack”? It should be called “When stupid people go near dangerous animals.”
I wish I could google the things I’ve misplaced.
The officer said, "you drinking?" I said, "you buying?" then we both laughed and laughed... And now I need bail money.
i know how to shutup.I just don`t know when.
Game of Thrones characters should have to wear jerseys with their names on the back
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways
I’ve already decided, if I ever go to The Price Is Right, I’m gonna “come on down” whether they call my name or not.
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.
If your boyfriend answers your text while playing GTA, he doesn`t love you. He just died on the game.
I know it`s 3 meals a day,,,,,, But how many at night?
We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap.
Can`t we all just hit a bong?
I play hard to get along with.
If you want to talk to me on the phone, I need at least three days notice.