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Some people are more confused then a chameleon in a packet of Skittles.
Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence.
When it comes to bug protection, you just can`t beat "OFF!".
I`m now fit to make my regular annual resolution. The accomplishment is the problem
Buying new Nikes, call that soul searching
I did not say you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
Just a reminder that you don’t have to tell Facebook goodnight. You can just stop talking.
Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
No, an erection is not considered personal growth.
awkward moment when the dentist is talking to you with his hands on your mouth
There is no one more trustworthy than Clark Kent`s dry cleaner.
People would believe everything I say.. if it wasn`t for everything I say.
This strip mall certainly is misleading And I probably should put my clothes back on now.
person 1: i can draw really well person 2: i`m really athletic person 3: i`m hilarious and likable person 4: i`m gorgeous me: i can breathe
Parenting tip: if you beat one child with the other child you can tell people they were just fighting. You`re welcome.