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I worry about what my rubber ducky thinks about me when I`m naked 0.0
Sure I have my doubts, but Bigfoot doesn’t have any pictures of me either.
Warning!! Today I will be coloring OUTSIDE the lines..
The first person who discovered how to make popcorn must have been like "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!"
The best part about living by myself is not having to explain a lot of things......a LOT of things.
Sometimes Late at night. I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
I`m just chilling tonight with my new plane ... Oops, I`ve said too much.
If god can artificially inseminate someone, why did he need two of every animal on the ark to repopulate the world?
You find my yoga pants distracting ... would you like me to take them off?
According to my fitness app, I watched TV for 6 miles this week.
Women say they want a guy who can make them laugh. I`d probably have done better if they`d specified that they didn`t mean by tickling.
Adult movies now available in 3D?!? Some thing I just don`t want to see flying at my face.
If there`s anything I`ve learned in my 27 years, it`s to never admit your real age.
Cooking tip of the day: Rub your eyes BEFORE you dice the jalapenos...
I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.