Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Which wine goes best with more wine?
Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
I take a large amount of pride in always being prepared for a nap.
If by sexy you mean me licking the donut icing off my fingers then yes I can be damn sexy.
Pretty cool how the internet lets you stay connected with people you haven`t seen in years and silently judge them on a daily basis.
If the Terminator was female the line would have been, “I might be back, I haven’t decided yet.”
My wife was afraid of the dark......then she saw me naked.........now she is afraid of the light.
I sleep better naked.. why can´t the flight attendants understand this?
Men think they have it bad, but they`re not the ones having to hold their boobs when they run.
Can`t believe people still say "pot" it`s not the 70s anymore we call it "saucepan" now
The only thing I`ve learned from my mistakes is that I make a whole bunch of them
When I was a kid “The Server Is Down” meant your waiter was depressed.
what do you mean booze ain`t food!?
I just wanna be the reason your doctor puts you on a new medication.
A lot of woman turn into good drivers. So if you`re a good driver, beware of women drivers when their making a turn.