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I wanna see Mythbusters do the bible.
Has anyone ever seen a gorilla in the mist? Some of the local drivers struggle to see my car in perfect daylight conditions, so I doubt that they`d spot a Gorilla in limited visibility!!!!!
I was fighting with this gal over who is lazier. I let her win.
When choosing a ring tone, always ask yourself, "How embarrassed will I be when this rings in public?"
The more neighbors I spy on through my binoculars, the creepier I think all my neighbors are!
I drink one glass of red wine a day for my health. The rest of the bottle is because I like being drunk.
How do I like my eggs? ... Umm in a cake.
when i have children im going to make them watch 2012 and tell them i survived all of that.
Shout out to bees, willing to kill themselves just to inconvenience a hater.
I took my family to Sea World this weekend, but i wasnt allowed in. Apparently you cant take your fishing rod.
You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not shout I`m telling you why...we have our own problems and nobody cares about yours.
Men are great listeners when you have big boobs ;)
I`m going to be the first person to land on the sun! I know what your thinking and thats why I will be going at night.
Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn’t counting calories.
Someone asked me today what was the toughest thing about being a parent ... I would have to say it’s the kids.