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Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will only be jingling "part" of the way this year, as usual ur patience is appreciated.
I stick pins and needles in the people I don`t like because can`t afford voodoo dolls.
Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades........... Wait till summer... Enjoy!
The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it`s like excuse me, I`m working here.
Every time you have McDonald’s as a kid, it’s a victory. Every time you have it as an adult, it’s a defeat.
Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges to keep the crazies from following you.
Therapy has taught me that it is all your fault.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Remember when waking up early on Saturday mornings involved cartoons and not untagging photos on Facebook?
Elderly people used to always nudge me at weddings and say "You`re next."What got them to stop is when............I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Sometimes I think I’m too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop.
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO
Nobody talk to me until I`ve Instagrammed my coffee.
I really think my life would be a lot better if my fitness app would just lower its standards
Smelling another person should be a choice.