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My fitness goal is to weigh what I told the DMV I weigh.
Does this status update make me look fat?
A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday.
I`m not sure what my spirit animal is, but I`m sure it has Rabies.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
Picking and choosing who to say happy birthday to since 2006, thanks Facebook!
No PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on Facebook.
My friends and I played fantasy football in high-school. No league, we just constantly thought about the cheerleaders.
A good lawyer knows the law ... A great lawyer knows the judge.
I`m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
Whenever I tell the cashier to ‘keep the change`, it takes everything in my power not to call them a filthy animal.
All single ladies, stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don’t force an innocent cat to live with you.
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
Tieam... problem solved
I can’t decide if the drinks are too weak or if my tolerance is too strong.