Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s Thanksgiving. Don`t forget to set your scale back 25 lbs
I`m proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don`t want to hang out with you now but I`m still proud...
I`m not Unemployed, I`m just taking my next job`s vacation in advance...
I wonder if more children were conceived because of alcohol or more alcohol was consumed because of children.
Ok everybody. Please look in your bedroom closet. I got my stalking notes mixed up and don`t know where I am.
I`m emotionally constipated. I haven`t given a crap in days...
Every time I go into my boss` office she tells me "take a seat". I have 14 now.
Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage.
What if Oxygen makes our voice really deep…. And Helium just brings it back to normal?
I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
If the shoe fits, shove it further up their a$$
I was trying to have a mature arguement but "look, you ignorant f*cktard" just popped out
Do you know what I hate worse than people? Groups of people.
My sleep number is 24. That`s a case of beer and I sleep like a baby.
I want to live in a world where it’s never too late for breakfast food and never too early for pizza.