Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bet Captain Crunch has some amazing abs.
You will never be happier than a girl who just discovered her dress has pockets.
Never make decisions when you are angry....or horny.
I need professional help. A chef and a butler will do just fine.
My best relationship advice: Make sure you`re the crazy one.
Why do hospitals need to advertise? It`s not like I`m going to go to Home Depot instead.
God made men. But sandwiches weren`t going to make themselves. So God made women.
Apparently everyone was too high in the 70`s when Grease came out to notice that every "student" at Rydell High looked like they were 35
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.
People who don`t understand sarcasm are awesome.
If there is anything I learned from 80`s movies it`s that I`m the best around, and nothing is ever gonna keep me down
It`s not my fault you thought I was normal.
Wanted a nap but had trouble getting to sleep. So I put on Seeking a Friend for the End of the World. Now 13 hours later, I`m well rested.
Facebook is like a nude beach. Everybody lets everything hang out, and you really don`t want to see a lot of it...
Tequila, because sometimes you and your toilet need to hug it out.