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Funniest thing ever heard on TV. "Ward, you were a little hard on the Beaver last night"
I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
I wonder how seaworld would react if I walked in there with a fishing pole....
There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
Do women know that it`s perfectly legal to apply makeup at home before they get in their car?
Right before I die, my last words will be, "I left a million dollars in the........
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
Calm down ... Take a deep breath and hold it for about 30 minutes.
The wrong time to have a seizure is probably during a Harlem Shake Video.
I have no problem texting while driving, but I won’t text while going down stairs. That sh!t’s dangerous.
I`ve never watched CSI because I learned everything I need to know about solving crimes from watching Scooby Doo
Knock knock... whos there? Cows go... Cows go who, No, cows go moo
I am having one of those days where my middle finger answers every question.
So who the heck ever buys the middle grade of gasoline?
`Google`` must be a woman, because it knows everything.