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The sooner you fall behind the more time you´ll have to catch up.
I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.
I`d say 20% of my day is spent trying to convince the dog we`re not about to be murdered by the UPS guy, mailman, squirrels, or the ice dispenser..
Much like a dog, men will pretty much do anything you want if you feed them first.
Dear Maytag: Why don`t your dryers have a Fold cycle? It`s 2018 for chrissake!
Every dog is a badass until you decide to vacuum.
I had to go on two diets because one wasn`t giving me enough food.
Save water. Shower with me. ;)
"They are more afraid of you than you are of them." -people who know even less about me than they do about bears
People who peel the entire banana before eating it must be the same ones who take off all their clothes to go to the bathroom.
They`re called `selfies` because the only one who`s interested in them is yourself.
The best part of an argument is the make up sex...unless you`re fighting with your brother.
I lost my ladder when I was very young but I was fortunate to have such a great step-ladder to raise me ...anytime I couldn`t reach anything
The inside of my fridge: evidence that I’m still not a real adult.
I thought we had nothing in common until I saw you buying 3 margaritas at a time.