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They might want to put a picture of that airplane on a milk carton.
I`d rather spend 5 minutes reorganizing the dishwasher, than spend the 10 seconds it takes to wash the dish that doesn`t fit.
I`m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You`re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what`s going on here.
You took the time to make your minivan look like a reindeer, but you can`t take one second to hit the turn signal an inch from your fingers?
A cool thing about being in a relationship is that when you make a mistake you get to hear about it over and over.
I`ve been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don`t talk to me about dedication!
Life is what you make it = 10% Shit happens = 90%
That`s a lot of selfies for someone that claims to be emotionally stable
Give fat people a break. They have a lot on their plate.
After midnight, clowns aren`t funny.
Mac & Cheese doesn`t contain many vitamins, so it`s important you always eat a bunch of it.
"Truth or dare" should be renamed to "Interrogation or Humiliation"
Life would be perfect if: Mondays were fun, junk food was healthy, drama didn’t exist, and goodbyes were only until tomorrow.
My body needs a refresh button.
Sometimes I have to go outside to get signal on my phone for Facebook so yes, you could describe me as "outdoorsy."