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You seem to love cocktails... or part of it.
Here`s a thought: Let`s let the illegal Mexicans stay and send the whining crybabies to Mexico. At least the illegal Mexicans are willing to work.
Always look out for #1. Don´t step in #2 either.
So I just saw a donkey crossing the road. The cool thing was he looked both ways before crossing. What a smart a$$.
Let’s all take a moment and be thankful spiders can’t fly.
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks I should skip work tomorrow.
You should see the sh!t I don`t post.
The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything."
Whoever left me in charge of my own destiny has a lot of explaining to do.
4 out of 5 dead husbands agree that last casserole tasted really strange.
Don`t refer to them as voices in your head. Do as the professionals and call them your `team of writers`
Turns out indoor stone throwing is a mistake no matter what your house is made of.
The best way to let people remember you is to `borrow money from them`
I wish there was a reality show where people learned grammar.
I was thinking about jumping on the Patriot`s Fan bandwagon, but I am afraid that the tires would be deflated...