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People, like prescription drugs, should have to list the side effects they`re likely to cause.
Oh and BTW,,, Why haven`t Pig Pen`s parents been visited by child services yet?
You know it`s time to clean your screen when you start confusing dirt with punctuation.
Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars.
I`m sorry but sh!ts and giggles don`t sound like things I want to have happen at the same time.
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
I have more conversations in my head than I do in real life.
It took Harry Potter 7 damn long books to catch the bad guy. When it only takes Scooby-Doo 25 minutes.
A fun thing to do is comment "that ain`t the girl you were with at the bar the other night" on all my married friends Facebook family photos
My girlfriend wants to get married. I hope she finds someone nice.
When I woke up this morning everything in my house had been stolen and replaced with exact replicas... WEIRD..
I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you`re good with grammar you`ll get it.
Do strippers have nightmares where they are in front of a large crowd with their clothes on?
How many servings of fruit are in a fruit roll up? I`m trying to take my diet seriously now.
Growing up teachers always told me there was no such thing as a stupid question. Eight years in retail has determined that was a lie.