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I thought Row vs. Wade was Washington`s decision when he reached the Delaware.
When I buy a horse, I`ll call it `MY FACE`..imagine all the ladies screaming `come on my face`
Somebody has to be awesome…might as well be me.
this guy with binoculars has been watching me watch him with binoculars and i don`t know who`s winning
The easiest way to find out if a movie is on Netflix is to simply ask yourself "do I want to see it?" If you do, it`s not on Netflix.
A fun thing to yell at a magic show is "BURN HIM, HE`S A WITCH"
I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I love to punch in the face.
Paying a homeless man to pee on your ex`s windshield, is just about the most fun you can have with 5 bucks.
Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I don’t want you to like me.- Most Girls
Some people repeat themselves when they`re drunk & some people repeat themselves when they`re drunk.
Lazy Rule#15325434090371466: you`re so lazy you didn`t even finish reading the number.
"Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this."--MC Hammer giving a Museum tour
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they´re going to be when you kill them.
If you love something,, let it go..... That`s EXACTLY what I`ve done with my body....
I`m awesome ... Don`t question it, just deal with it.