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My fantasy is having two women at once...One Cooking, One Cleaning.
Was sitting and doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
condoms prevent minivans
If this world got any smaller I`d probably fall off - George T. Ignace
The hardest part of the job interview is knowing the best moment to lean in for the kiss.
Some people wouldn`t understand irony if it beat them over the head with a helmet.
Gym Update: Not there.
I might be a day late and a dollar short, but it is still my personal best.
Iron man is a super hero, Iron woman is a command.
that moment when somebody calls your house phone and ask where you are
Amazing how many people just stroll into tattoo parlors and say “Give me the dumbest thing you can think of.”
Sometimes it would be nice if the world had an off switch.
Why Am I Sober? - A Horror Story
If you are the one who stole my computer yesterday, please disregard the folder labeled, "Nature photographs." Thanks.
I hope my liquor store is having an after Christmas sale!!