Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes it’s the little victories, like depositing a dollar to avoid overdraw fees that make me feel like a responsible adult.
The easiest way to get over someone is with a steamroller.
Would you be a deer and run out in front of my car for me?
I’m right 97% of the time…who cares about the other 4%.
Its all sh!ts and giggles until someone giggles and sh!ts
I feel like water solves all problems. Wanna lose weight? drink water .. clear face ? Drink water.. Tired of your better half? Drown them
Sometimes I get in this weird mood where I find everyone annoying. But it only happens when I’m awake.
Water is life; without it we wouldn’t have coffee, whiskey or beer.
If you smoke after sex, you`re doing it to fast.
Walmart made plans to hire 100,000 U.S. Veterans. Which can only mean one thing: Walmart is going to invade Costco.
I`d take Cap`n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren`t on his hat.
Behind that fat girl is a beautiful woman...No seriously, she`s in the way.
I have difficulty sleeping at night because I lay awake obsessing over life`s mysteries, like how exactly does paper beat rock.
If pigs could fly, nobody would be eating chicken wings.
Never underestimate the power of cleavage.