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I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
I`m not upset because it`s Monday, I`m upset because I have to wear pants
So far today has been a pretty good day...I haven`t had to bite or hit anyone, yet!!
The recipe I am making says to chill for 30 minutes so I`m sitting back and having a margarita!
I bet Batman`s cape gets stuck in the car door more times than he admits.
If a man doesn`t drink when he`s living, how in the hell can he drink when he`s dead?
Fun: text a friend "Are you alone right now?" They go "Yes." Then u text back LOL
One things for sure, I can always count on my fingers.
What do you mean I should be more productive? Do you think this cocktail made itself?
I think my smart phone is making fun of me behind my back.
LOQ "Laugh Out Quietly" because LOL is giving me a headache
Is it even possible to calmly walk away from a dark basement?
Sometimes i wish i was an octopus, so i can slap eight people @ once!
Studies show that men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. Unless your wife finds out.
The problem with some people is that they’re alive.