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Vegetarians live up to nine years longer. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, baconless, cheeseburgerless, meatless years.
I have off-road rage, too
I`m so scattered I don`t know whether I found this rope or lost my horse.
I can’t believe it’s 2012 and there is still no fold button on my dryer.
It took Harry Potter 7 damn long books to catch the bad guy. When it only takes Scooby-Doo 25 minutes.
1: Say "Unh! 2: Mumble three spanish words. 3: list four cities. You just made a Pitbull song.
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them an extra bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
dont love..dont hurt...keep doing flirt..:)
Top three reasons he doesn`t text you back: 1. He`s just not that into you 2. He`s imaginary 3. He`s a cat
The problem with this generation? The cartoons suck.
It`s hard to focus on a home workout when your home also contains a refrigerator full of delicious food
Highways need 4 lanes per side - A NASCAR wannabe lane, a normal driver lane, an old people who drive 40 in a 70 lane & a "where in the hell am I?" lane.
You would think a popular place like the Krusty Krab would have more than two employees.
Tip to reduce weight, first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
All I want is a little more than I’ll ever get.