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I bet the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial doesn`t ever ride his motorcycle on Martin Luther King Blvd in any town.
How do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
Just ONCE, I`d like to look deep into your beautiful eyes, and make hot sweet love with you without some pop-up window ruining the mood.
I`d offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.
Not all guys just want s@x... I want sandwiches too.
So far today has been a pretty good day...I haven`t had to bite or hit anyone, yet!!
The condoms need to be located in the baby aisle, next to the 30 dollar diapers and 20 dollar formula cans
How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?
You`re never too old to throw random sh*t in people`s shopping carts when they aren`t looking.
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it`s strapped to the top of someone`s car.
People with jobs: It`s Friday!!! People without jobs: It`s Friday?
Every time someone says "Have a nice day!", I yell "DON`T F**KING TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"
Save water, shower together.
Sometimes saying "F*ck it" is the best decision.