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How did human beings express empathy before the phrase "that sucks" was coined?
"Man, you know your bible verses forwards and backwards" - said no one ever
My imaginary friend is bullying me.
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
You are so selfish! You´re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!
Men are like lottery tickets. Very exciting at first, until you scratch away the surface to reveal the loser beneath.
Every so often I’ll listen to my wife talk non stop for hours at a time, to remind myself why people wander into traffic without looking.
Hold boobs not grudges.
Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.
So, at this point, should we really still be calling them New Kids on the Block?
I call it a Cupcake Salad. And I don`t see how it`s any of your business.
I carry a permanent marker just in case someone without a mustache falls asleep.
I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.
Some people are grateful for the impact you made in their life…. It’s not me, I think you’re a pr!ck.
Snails would be terrifying if they moved quickly.