Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m crazy but not “LeBron is better than Jordan” crazy.
I don`t have the blood alcohol level to deal with you
My definition of" Armed and Dangerous" is: a pissed off wife with a bottle of wine, and the credit cards.
Have you ever partied so hard that you feel like you may have damaged your DNA?
Best Relationship Advice: Make sure you’re the crazy one.
On average I spend $75 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
It doesn`t take much to make a woman happy, but it takes even less to make her mad.
I`m proud to announce that I`m still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don`t know we`re racing.
When i see a person hailing a cab, i run quickly by them and slap them a high five just to boost their enthusiasm!
Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario & how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal, but had no milk. I used ice cream.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
thinks that life was a lot simpler when I thought girls had cooties, and getting to the bottom of the sandbox was a good day.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. :)
Do you ever look through old pictures and wonder, “Where the hell did that shirt go?”
A company has announced a new service where you carpool with strangers. It`s a new cutting-edge technology called "taking the bus."