Daily Silly Status

How come know-it-alls, don`t know how annoying they are?

I`m at the "what can I make with green beans and cake mix" stage of needing groceries

There really isn`t much difference between being a kid and being an adult. I was just as emotionally crippled upon learning the truth about Penthouse Letters as I was about Santa Claus.

I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number? ...hmm

I wish there was an observation deck at WalMart.

Keychains were invented so that you can lose all of your keys at once.

There`s nothing like sitting by an open fire..watching the evidence burn.

I sleep better naked.. why can´t the flight attendants understand this?

I am at the gym! Well, the parking lot. They have free wi-fi.

Werewolves tend to transform only upon noticing a full moon already in the sky, implying the affliction is 100% psychological.

I eat a whole pizza before I go to the gym, because a good workout begins with low self-esteem.

I love myself everyday. Sometimes, twice a day.

Mouth the word " vacuum" to a stranger & see what happens.

Insanity does not run in my family. It strolls through, taking it`s time and getting to know each one of us personally.

Sorry, Mr. Homeless Guy, here’s the story. I’m in college. I work part time and I can only support one of our alcohol problems.