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When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
Work like you don`t have proof of citizenship, Love like you were on a reality TV show, and dance like you were being thrown 100 dollar bills at
Olive Garden says “When you’re here you’re family”, how could they expect me NOT to think I’m entitled to a free meal.
You are intriguing. You require further stalking, sorry I mean investigation.
Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn`t doing his part of the chores around here
Its O.K. to laugh during sex … just don’t point ! ... trust me
I wish my car was fueled by my lack of desire to go to work.
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
Oh cool! ... I really do not care.
I`d like to change and get comfy, yet that requires effort. Ever feel this lazy?
I swear I saw a guy earlier today that had no chin and all I could think about was, how does he put on pillow cases?
Why can`t life be as easy as I am?
Somewhere the inventor of yoga pants is near death from all the high fives and non-stop free tequila shots he gets.
One time I exaggerated so hard that I died.
popsicle sticks: $1. caramel: $3. onion: $1. watching ur kid bite into a caramel onion thinking its an apple: priceless.