Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You look happy. Let me see what I can do about that. - Life.
I`m trying to save up enough money to one day afford to save up money.
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
Welcome to journalism, where everything is made up, and the sources don`t matter.
I`m running out of people I can tolerate!
Miley Cyrus could never live in the kind of cold we`re having here. Can you imagine all the poles her tounge would get stuck to?
I would like to think I will die a heroic death, but it`s more likely I`ll trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.
I don`t always say `oops`, but when I do, it`s usually ten minutes after I have a brilliant idea.
Make your girlfriend scream your name, leave the toilet seat up.
I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me three time while carrying me to the car.
The Teen Choice Awards air last tonight if you want to see a great reminder of why kids aren`t allowed to vote.
You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she cuts your brake lines.
If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that`s another weakness
I don`t get women. Also, I don`t understand them.
Wonders why we can`t just all get a Long....Island Iced Tea?!?