Daily Silly Status

Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I`m typing this with my middle finger.

wonders how you can knock sense into someone when you`re beating them senseless?

I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics...So glad I found you all.

I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!

I`m great at spelling bees ... But hopless at spelling other words.

Have you ever looked at someone and thought, "Yep, you have a person in your basement."?

My shrink says if I take these pills I won`t see you guys anymore.

I said "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t." but the judge didn`t buy it.

That akward moment you try and deep throat a banana and get caught ... and your a dude.

I have a dream that one day I won`t have to work on MLK Day.

I just had a threesome in the shower with Johnson and Johnson.

If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO

I swear I can hear Google sigh every time I start typing in their search bar.

Look, here’s the deal: If you’re into immature, sexually compulsive men who drink too much and need to be the center of attention at all times, you are going to find me very attractive.

Calories? I think you mean delicious points!