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I`m kind of clueless about pop culture. I thought "Hogwarts" was an STD
Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
That`s not chapstick in my front pocket.
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop and where to spend it
Facebook is the best place to say whatever you want. If it doesn’t go over well you can just say you were hacked.
Wait, there`s a "wrong hole"?
If you really want to impress me with the year a bottle of wine was made, bring me one from 2024....
Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not get caught.
The phrase "Don`t take this the wrong way." has a zero percent success rate.
Not doing anything with my life is surprisingly time consuming.
The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught.
God gives us only what we can handle... Apparently God thinks I am a bad-ass.
New favorite term: Multislacking. It’s nice to find a name for something you’re good at.
I’m going to rename my wifi network to “Surveillance Van #02?. That should keep the neighbors on their toes for a while.
roses are red,violets are blue,god made me beautiful, what happen to you..