Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you think this status is funny someone you hate will step on a lego.
I`m really wanting to sit and watch a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?
Screw getting an alarm system. I`ve seen Home Alone, I know what to do.
When I see names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.
When the sign says: DO NOT TOUCH I read: Touch when nobody is looking.
"I`ll let you know" = I need more time to come up with an excuse
Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs.
Whats the best part about dating a homeless chick, ..... You can drop her off anywhere
Feeling bored? Post a status on Facebook that says "Barack Obama 2016" and buckle up for the ride of your life.
To be honest, I´m just fishing for compliments tonight.
I feel like doing something productive today. If I sit here long enough, maybe it will go away.
Stop Instagramming words. I`m not following you for your thoughts. Take off your f*cking shirt.
You say you want to bring me back to reality. You’re assuming I’ve been there before.
If your day was that bad, why do you assume we want to know about it?
My neighbor put the box his fridge came in on the curb for trash pickup. Guess who has a new fort!