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Sorry that offended you, I really didn’t think you’d get it.
A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday.
So far my Christmas shopping has involved buying myself presents, so I’d say it’s been a success.
There`s no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk while it´s still snowing
Dont let facebook fool you we aint friends
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key
When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life…
wishes life would hand me lemons especially today.. that way I`d have something to throw at the people that are pissing me off
It`s 2014, people. Isn`t it about time we put an end to all this `wake up in the morning and go to work` nonsense?
Breakfast in bed probably means you are dating someone. Dinner in bed means you`re probably single.
The guy who invented, "Take Your Child To Work Day," probably forgot to drop his kid off at school on his way to work..
Giving people the finger while driving just isn`t effective. Which is why I had the catapult installed.
why would anyone want a baby? It`s just another thing you have to clean
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much sh!t to carry.