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So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
Calm down mechanic guy. Just here for an oil change. If I wanted to know about all the other shit wrong with my car I`d turn the radio down.
Every time you get dressed remember that, if you die, that`s your ghost outfit forever.
My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except 1 song.
More tattoo artists really just need to say "No, I`m not doing that."
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. But giving payment when payment is due is an entirely different thing.
Yeah he`s still bugging me...he thinks Harass is two words.
I knew I`d be a great parent. Kids aren`t nearly as difficult to take care of as my drunk friends.
I guarantee there`s a pregnant teenager somewhere who thinks `Ebola` would be a lovely name for their child.
Judging from my last 5 relationships I am convinced my heart is trying to kill me
For those who know nothing of how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word shopping.
This year, I`m thankful for all the people that included me in their mass texts wishing me a "Happy Thanksgiving," now I know which numbers to block when Christmas comes around.
Join us in calling for a total ban of people. They are extremely dangerous. If you know any people, report them at once to the authorities.
I kinda like zombies...but can we go ahead & decide whether they can run fast or just walk? ... my apocolypse plans depend on it ... thanks!
I asked my girlfriend why she never tells me when she orgasms. She said she doesn`t like phoning me at work.