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My wife’s new cooking show will be called, "Do you smell Something Burning?"
I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn`t reach very far.
Walmart killed the traveling circus.
I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around.
The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did, she began running so I did, she screamed so I did. I never even saw what we were running from.
Waldo wears stripes because he doesn`t want to be spotted !
I broke up with my gym, we were just not working out.
A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in.
I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I only had to do it like 3 times a week. This every day thing is overkill.
Can you shut up now?! Because talking to you sounds less appealing then playing leapfrog with unicorns.
Surprise your wife today. Sell all her shoes and buy something nice for yourself.
I’ve thought about it, and there still is no good reason for me to grow up.
Starting to think my wife might have a tumor. She`s had a headache for the past 15 years.
I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you?