Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If she can cook like her mother and drink like her father, she`s a keeper.
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
Orange Hi-C counts as a serving of fruit, right?
Nothing screams DUI like wearing a really nice suit on a city bus.
You`re never too old to throw random sh*t in people`s shopping carts when they aren`t looking.
Amazing how many people just stroll into tattoo parlors and say “Give me the dumbest thing you can think of.”
On your birthday I think the Airlines should let you exit the plane on the inflatable slide.
How am I supposed to get any work done with all this work I have to do?
Clearly, you are a person with an open mind. I can feel the breeze from here.
I lost my mood ring today. Not sure how to feel about it
I got kicked out of the audience of "Cats" on Broadway for bringing a laser pointer.
That frustrating feeling when the microwave trips the circuit breaker and you have no idea how much longer your lunch needs to be nuked.
You don`t have to drink to have fun... Just have fun drinking!
I hate when people passive-aggressively post vague, indirect statuses. You know who you are...
I don`t like people who hate certain group of people. But I get along very well with people who hate everybody equally.