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Nothing makes me want to leave a website more than a pop-up window saying, “Are you sure you want to leave this page?”
Tip: When you’re not famous, people don’t let you pay for things with an autographed napkin.
"You know, I wish I`d never gone to the pool that day." ~Marco Polo
I know you think you´re interesting because you have an accent. But a drunken slur is not an accent.
Now that I`m on Facebook, I can finally put that English degree I obtained to some use…
liked homework better when it was called coloring.
i dont drink any more and yet again i dont any less either
To the woman that won the powerball ... "what`s up baby"
Men are like lottery tickets. Very exciting at first, until you scratch away the surface to reveal the loser beneath.
Think you`re going crazy? When you get there, look for me and I`ll show you around.
I hear boomerangs are making a comeback.
If you get angry, just take deep breaths and count to ten. Unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.
It`s funny how this guy grating cheese over my pasta thinks I`m going to say stop.
My date is in 2 hours, which means I have very little time to fix my glasses and fix my bangs and get a career and lose 50 pounds
Currently helping my sister look for her chocolate`s I ate 4hrs ago.