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"I have almost $67 in the bank!" sounded a lot more impressive when I was 12.
I`m really easy to get along with, once people learn to worship me.
the real full form of M.B.A....Married But Available
If you rearrange the letters of "postmen" they get really pissed off.
Procrastination is a dish best served eventually.
How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?
thinks that life was a lot simpler when I thought girls had cooties, and getting to the bottom of the sandbox was a good day.
I`d totally order a salad bar. If it had lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, ketchup, mustard, hamburger and buns.
I have decided to give up procrastinating for Lent ... oh, crap.
If your life ever seems boring just remember that you are on a rock floating in outer space.
This day will end with either wine or shopping. Probably both.
I wish college was 5 easy payments of $19.99
Some of you are like family to me. I don’t want you calling me either.
I don`t think I have enough money to find long everlasting love.
HR says I`m not allowed to scream "OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :(