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So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don`t taste any different.
Grab the bull by the horns. The other end is too gross...
My favorite hobbies are practical jokes and masturbation. Iām always trying to pull a fast one
The other day my son asked me who picks up the seeing eye dog`s poop.
To stupidity ... And beyond!!
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married.
Only a few years ago, the average parents had four children. Nowadays, the average child has four parents.
My New Years resolution is to be more assertive if that`s okay with you guys?
So if a dentist makes money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should we trust a toothbrush that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
Google must be a woman...it knows everything.
Some people are too chipper early in the morning. They don`t realize how bad it is for their health.....until I`m choking them
I`m pretty sure the phrase "sleep tight" originated in prison...
My therapist told me I`m nuts. I said "I wanted a second opinion." She said "Well ok, you`re ugly too."
If my grandmother were alive today, I`m pretty sure she`d still have her blinker on.
Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen