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I just found out people are playing golf online. And I thought my life sucked!
If your lawyer has a ponytail, you`re going to jail
Okay, I can`t take it anymore. What in the hell holds the blocks up in Mario Brothers?
Imagine being naked in a room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you. That is the life of a dog.
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I`m cute, I would have 1 dollar ... thanks mom.
News flash, ladies. Men are settling for you, too.
Once you have to start paying a babysitter every time you go out, you realize most friendships aren`t worth it.
is clapping his hands and stomping his feet because he is happy and he knows it.
Relationship status: Private. The only way for it to be.
Turns out, I`m not an afternoon person either...
Somewhere in the world right now, somebody is buying a house based on its potential for great bathroom selfies.
You`re one of a kind! Thank goodness...
It takes so much self control for me not to write, "you sure about that?" under Facebook engagement announcements.
All my dance moves look like i`m trying to tell the guy on first base to steal second