Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don’t care if it’s 4 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
Dear food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.
Dieting is for the birds. Which is why you hardly ever see a fat bird.
Dang girl,, Are you a Snickers bar? Because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly long lasting,, hold up,,,, are those nuts?
In a thousand years, archeologists will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I will kill you."
Babysitting is a way for teenagers to feel like adults while adults go out to feel like teenagers.
Ghetto wet floor sign: Caution Bitches Be Trippin
(Facebook Diamond encrusted Platinum Account required to view this status update)
China has largest population not because the men are extra horny nor women are extra fertile but because... Their condoms are made in China.
Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked.
I went to the missing persons` beurau. No one was there.
I`m a compulsive liar. Every thing I say is a lie. And that`s the truth.
Just seen this girl walk into a lamp post! I could have stopped her but that wouldn`t have been funny would it
People keep thinking that I care ... Wierd.