Daily Silly Status

May you never be as bored as whoever figured out that holding a seashell to your ear sounds like the ocean

If you are used to seeing a fat, naked guy walk around his house, then you are probably my neighbor.

my Dr. says i have ADHD, i dont know how they see.... oooooh a squirrel!

Pick a woman with wits. Wits will never sag.

I mean really though...Why wash cups when you can just drink out of the jug?

If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.

I can tell a police officer is gay by the way he writes me a ticket instead of letting me off with a warning.

I just saw a bus that you would look amazing under.

There is no peer pressure like washing your hands because someone else walked into the bathroom.

FYI....just in case something happens.....The cashier at the liquor store down the street is my emergency contact person.

You should NEVER say and I mean NEVER say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she`s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at the moment.. :|

All my dance moves look like i`m trying to tell the guy on first base to steal second

If there`s anything I`ve learned in my 27 years, it`s to never admit your real age.

I wonder if Monday can see my middle finger from here?

When you are on a first date and she says to you: "I want you to treat me like a movie star," it is vitally important to establish which type of movie