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You guys ever trip out on the fact that Indian people eat Indian food for breakfast?
Nothing says “I hate you” like giving someone’s child a drum set.
My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn`t walk to the donut shop.
Despite the old saying, "Don`t take your troubles to bed", many women still sleep with their husbands.
"There`s a sleeping person. Let`s go ask it questions." – Children
I hate it when people exaggerate my mistakes and make it seem like I’ve commited a crime.
In a parallel universe calories are trying to burn people.
I wonder if there are any times on the clock that I have never seen.
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
I liked you better before we met.
I hate it when I see some old person and then realize that we went to school together
Imagine if someone`s name was Gurt. You`d be all "yo gurt!" .. funny? no? Ok (._.)
Nice try speed bumps, it`s a rental.
I broke a mirror now I`m looking at 7 years bad luck... but my lawyer thinks he can get me off with 3
i made a chicken salad the other day. little bastard didn`t even eat it.