Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whoever lost a bundle of $20 bills tied up in a rubber band..I found the rubber band..
The further you push me away, the more I begin to enjoy viewing you from a distance.
If you watch Intervention backwards, it`s about a person partying hard after an awful family reunion.
I can’t wait until I get that job at Starbucks because I’m going to spell everyone’s name wrong so they can’t instagram their cups.
His idea of cleanliness is sweeping the room with a glance.
I thought a vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it only changes the color of the baby.
All I`m saying is, you`ve never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time
I think we`ll be friends forever because we`re too lazy to find new friends.
Keep honking. I´m reloading.
Note to Self: Wearing headphones do not make my farts silent.
that awkward moment when you`re alone somewhere and trying to take a picture of yourself.
People who cook Hot Pockets in the oven, Where are you getting all this free time?
There are no words to describe how I feel about you... Good thing God invented the middle finger.
Women are like bacon, they smell great, taste delicious and kill you slowly. Men are like bacon because we`re pigs.
Today’s forecast.. mostly cloudy with a 99.9% chance of alcohol